The future lies before you
Like a field of driven snow,
Be careful how you tread it,
For every step will show.
- Author Unknown.
- Author Unknown.
one of the things that hit me this past week was the topic about a boyfriend. after watching so many dramas, the feeling of love sunk into me. it’s always so heart warming to see couples fall in love with each other. when i’m finally ready to get a boyfriend, i want him to my first and last. being heart broken really scares me and when i am in a relationship, i know that the both of us would be giving it our all to make everything work out.
this past week has been hectic. so many things have happened and there’s just so much going on as well. first of all, i had a blast at summer league frisbee on wednesday. i scored game point for the first time ever & now alan owes the team bubble tea. even though, cow was there, i had a great time! i’m slowly learning how to not let her presence affect my mood. :] thursday was a fun day at eatons with kat, ziyi & kelly. now i really want that tna hoodie thats on sale! it’s so pretty & blue. <3 hehe, im excited to go buy it on monday. :D on friday, i had a short day of school & got back everything. i didn’t do EXTREMELY well on my exams, but considering that i wung them, i’m quite proud. :] all the glory goes to god. <3 today was great! i had volunteer at taste of asia & i did score keeping for the basketball games. there were a few cute guys, so time passed by pretty quickly. later on, i went to church & had a blast during worship! these week, i’ve been thinking about wanting a boyfriend. love seems so powerful, but i don’t think i’ll be experiencing that type of love anytime soon.
all most of the guys i know are such jerks & i honestly can’t see me in a relationship with any of them. on the bright side, i trust that god has some special guy waiting for me & i can’t wait till the day i finally meet him! <3
i went to eat at cafesta with friends and afterwards, we watched kung fu panda 2. it was pretty hilarious; PO: “my biggest enemy.. the stairs” “i thought he was my real father” THE GOOSE? LOOOL. anyways, when i got home, i had to go frisbee with a bunch of people. at school, frisbee was pretty fun & i got to meet my summer league’s head coach. he was really nice & friendly. i saw baylin as well and wished him a happy birthday! :] later on, i was having so much fun playing frisbee. then someone showed up. she started to take my positions in defence and offence and i was just there. i didn’t feel like i belonged there playing frisbee, once she showed up. i really don’t understand how she can impact my life so much. one minute, im extremely happy & the next she ruins it. why is she put in my life? why does she act so rude & innocent at the same time? why can’t people see her for who she really is? why must she act so fake and be so two-faced? sigh, there’s so many things i wonder about her. i hate the fact that she dresses like a freaking whore knowing that we are playing frisbee. like really, why not just wear proper gear like everyone else? who are you trying to impress? this just shows the kind of person you are; not everyone wants to get in your pants. do you really think your innocent act works on everyone? well, its not working on me & i know how fake you are. you act like a dumb blonde, like get a life. you seriously piss me off so much. why can’t you just act your age? ugh, can you please just leave me alone? what’s with all the glares your giving irene? like really, if you want to say something, say it to her face. for one thing, i’m glad that adrian asked if i was feeling okay because everyone else just moved on with their frisbee. i realized that adrian is can tell when im feeling bad & its nice to know. :] well, i guess today, i’ve learned that people actually care. i wrote a msg on my bbm pm about her & then kenneth and viv asked me what’s wrong & tried to help me. thank you for enlightening my mood! it really means a lot to me. <3
its my first time typing up a post on a macbook pro! :] this is actually pretty fun. anyways, my life has been so hectic lately. i feel so like messed up each and every day. i don’t know what’s going on in my life and i feel like a wandering soul. there’s so much on my mind and i honestly don’t know how to deal with it. i’ve been feeling so moody that i don’t want to eat nor sleep or doing anything at all. at school, i’m just so lifeless and exams are coming up. ugh, why is everything so hard? why do i have to be living such a complicated life? what kind of world do i live in? my life is honestly messed up beyond recognition and i don’t want to do anything. i just want to go to a far away place and be in my own little world. i honestly don’t want to care about anything and just like escape. i need my escape; a place away from everything, away from reality. i think the only thing keeping me alive right now is church. there, i am so free & god reigns. the people are also so amazing that they keep me alive. i can’t even imagine where i would be without those people in my life. i’ve realized in every situation i’ve been in, its the people that make a difference, not the place. everyone that is important to me right now was put in my life by god & now all that i fear is one day everyone will all leave me. there will be nothing left & me? well, i’ll be so lonely & lost. i won’t know how to live anymore. right now, i feel like i’m just alive & not living. what is life if you’re alive in the moment, but aren’t living it? i wonder..
Ahh, so tired. ): At school, my english oral summative was messed up cuz my partner has issues. I’m glad that my teacher helped me out, so I had some ideas running through my head. Kay so, today I went to kps to coach frisbee with my team members! I saw mark there & I thought it would be pretty fun! Haha, it turned out to be okay, i guess. I was so angry at a certain SOMEBODY. Cow seriously pissed the shit out of me. Why do you do such unnecessary things, in order to get attention? Your attitude and everything just needs to change. You have learn that not everything is always about you. Besides, what does all the attention do for you? It just makes you seem like an attention seeking bitch. Oh yeah, I went there. Like really, I don’t even feel the need to complain about you anymore. You’re not even important enough to be on my blog. Anyways, so much more happened today. While walking to kps, I tripped on a pinecone & hurt my ankle. (BAD KARMA!) At kps, I was so annoyed, like I wanted to kill someone. When we were scrimmaging, it wasn’t even fun being on the line with my team members. They weren’t even like paying attention to how I was ALWAYS wide open. Later on, I changed lines, so I was playing with kps kids along with arif & richard! That was amazingly fun & afterwards, a lot of shit happened. The guy I was angry at for being rude was.. idk. He was like so weird. I wanted his disc to practice my bombing and he gave it to me, but suddenly, he just wrestled with me for his disc for a while. When I saw his eyes like up close (4D LOOL), it reminded me of that day at mcds. I was so like -insert feeling here- that I just let him have his disc back and I let go. After that, he just tossed back the disc to me. Right now, I’m still VERY curious about what the point of that was, like it was just a waste of time & it made me feel like crap. THANKS A LOT. Later on, I felt like the shittest I could be, but I asked mark to sign my yearbook. LOL he decided to write me a poem & he sure is VERY poetic. It literally made my day, but he’s not done yet. The poem was hilarious & I can’t stop laughing at it. :]
I was under a school bus today & some other great stuff happened too! Now, on to the bad things. I hate the fact that you are hurting Irene, like honestly. You shouldn’t have been so rude. Like if she got the courage to try & ask you, you should at least give her a chance & see what she wrote on the disc & not just answer with a straight “NO.” Ugh, I honestly thought that you were a nice guy & all, but I guess in reality, people aren’t always as they seem. I feel like such a stupid retard thinking about that look in your eyes that day @ mcds & how something seemed to be bothering you. It made me feel so bad thinking about it & all day I couldn’t stop thinking about it. However, after today, I have it all thought out. You are really such a jerk, even if you’re nice to me. You should treat my friends right too. It may not be your fault for acting that way, but you should think before you act. You have hurt a very sweet & innocent girl, so SMD. It was so rude & the fact is, I really hate rude people. You are like ‘cow.’ You don’t think before say something & words really do hurt. You just messed up my day & I regret feeling bad for you. I never deserved all the painful thoughts you made me go through because I cared about you. In the end, you were such a douchebag & I will never think of you the same way again.
I had to wake up earlier since I had volunteer at 10:30am. Apparently I was volunteering at a soccer summer camp and had to help with the 5-7 year olds. It was quite awkward considering that I hate soccer. LOL it was pretty fun anyways. Afterwards, I ran 4 laps around the track with Carmen. It was great since we had a nice long talk after we were done. :) Later, Irene and other frisbee people came and we tossed for a bit. Gstar was taking pictures of us playing for his eng assignment and it was pretty interesting. A while later, we all went to mcds & gstar finally bought me my mcflurry. :) It tasted really good! Richard offered to go to gstar’s house, so we all decided to go. HE HAS THE MOST ADORABLE CAT EVER! haha, I met a couple of people today & balled with the guys! It was fun, but I sucked so much. When I left his house, I reflected on my day & I realized how much I hate a certain person. That person is so rude & I don’t even know why I’m friends with such a person. I honestly can’t understand how someone can be so rude and act like they’re not at the same time. It pisses me off so much & I really hate stupid people like that. If you can’t be yourself in front of different people, just get the hell out of my life. I don’t know you there to freaking ruin my life & I don’t want you in my life if you’re going to act like that. You are like purposely being rude & I don’t understand why you do that. You’re consistently being so freaking rude & think you’re all that. BUT guess what? You’re not all that. Who the hell cares if you can get away with what you do? You still can’t kill the fact that you did what you did. I swear you are messed up in the brain or something. If you need to see a doctor or something, go! While you’re at it, freaking fix up your messed personality and everything else or just gtfo of my life.
To start off my day, I had math EQAO. It honestly killed off my day, but afterwards, all my other classes were pretty simple & relaxing. During lunch, we got our yearbooks & I finally realized that the school year is almost over. There’s only a couple more weeks until summer! As appealing as it sounds, it made me remember that there are some people I won’t see until September. That okay I guess, but summer won’t be the same without Kelly & Kat. ): Anyways, afterschool I had a meeting & then I had to walk to kps to help coach frisbee! It was okay teaching the kids but I’m glad that my frisbee team members stayed a while after practice was over. I got all of them to write in my yearbook & the messages they wrote were so heart warming. Maybe thats why frisbee always puts a smile on my face; the people are just so welcoming that it makes me feel special to be with them. :) That reminds me of what happened in the hall today; I was pretty mad at comments people have said to me today, so while I was walking in the hall , some from the frisbee team waved & said hi to me. Right at that moment, it brightened my day. :) This goes to show that one little comment & a hello can brighten someone’s day! However, I learned that one tiny comment can cause someone to experience unimaginable pain. SO TO ALL YOU HATERS OUT THERE, ALWAYS THINK BEFORE YOU TALK BECAUSE YOU’LL NEVER KNOW HOW MUCH IT IMPACT SOMEONE’S LIFE! GET @ ME BRO!